It’s bad blogger etiquette, isn’t it, to post about this season of fullness and never fill one another in on what the true challenges and joys are, and generally how it’s going?
For me, fullness is a mixed blessing. It’s been finishing the writing and revising of my dissertation on Sunday mornings, which has been necessary and fulfilling, but has taken us away from our dear church community and made me wander a bit from God. So fullness, ironically, in the vein of confession, has included a spiritual desert for me, in which I’ve been reticent to go to God with all of my worries and concern, for fear of finding answers that I haven’t wanted to hear or face. Fullness, though, has also been the everyday work of plodding along with life, filled with the everyday joy of seeing our daughter and our family grow together. It’s included brave car trips with a screaming baby, on the end of which we were fortunately met by treasured friends.
I’m starting to come to terms with the idea (and this was evident to me as I peered through tears writing the acknowledgements to my dissertation in the wee hours of another Sunday morning feeling so humbled by so many people who had a hand in it) that when we are in the blessing and sacred presence of others, despite our own penchants to push God away, God is never far away at all. I am amazed that despite my tendency to drift in this season, God keeps close through the ministry of others. As our pastor reminded us this Sunday, “that’s how God gets things done.”
I’ve been so focused on getting my own things done in this season of fulness that I often forget how faithfully God has stood beside me at this time and all along. In returning to acknowledge God, it makes sense that my first action, before repentance even, would be praise. Even as this makes cognitive sense to me, I’m still struggling a bit this morning. I pray that I find those words of praise even as my spirit is weak.
Where has God stood beside you in your life? What is God doing for you now? How is your season of fullness coming along?