As 2015 has begun, I’ve been filled with this desire to be faithful to God. But what does that mean?
As I’ve reflected on all the uncertainty in my own life and the world, I continue to struggle with trusting God with the future and what is beyond my knowing. When I picture the future, my wildest dreams still sometimes tend toward anxiety, and I begin to worry, doubt, fear, and breed resentment. I know these are not faithful feelings, and I worry that I’m just not cut out for this life of faith.
But I’ve also realized something. When my daughter cries, I turn without thinking to wrap her in my arms. When a student in front of me needs counsel, I listen intently and reply with carefully chosen words. When those around me are hurting or in need, I lift them up in prayer, and I strive to serve them.
When it comes to one moment, I think I can be faithful. I can be faithful with this moment rather than fearful of what I do not know. And suddenly faithfulness becomes not something unattainable or fleeting, but a daily practice of breathing and walking with the God of this moment.
A couple days ago I found myself saying to a tearful student in my office, “I know at this moment, you have no idea what decision you will make in the future and how you will make it. But you are a capable person. You are doing everything you can to gather all the information and be prepared to make a good decision. Therefore, I trust and believe that you will make a good one when the time comes.”
I love saying those words.
I love letting others know that when the world and uncertainty fill them with doubt and fear, there is reason to trust otherwise. I love believing in a God who is invested so deeply in our lives, in making us capable, faithful people, rather than leaving us to our own devices. And I love knowing that faithfulness isn’t just about some lofty goal or distant future, but is the stuff of now, of taking care of this moment, with God never far away.
Now, if I could only listen to my own advice…