When I hit the button to publish yesterday’s entry on thinking and advent, I’ll admit that I wondered if I’d just alerted the universe that I’m far less competent than I appear and whether I’d be able to live with the thought that my last post wasn’t really about advent at all, but yet another version of navel-gazing in a process of cultural shock that needs to end soon before all my readers abandon ship!
And then I read this little essay in the opinion section of the New York Times by Pico Iyer, where he talks about how he managed to distort the very paradise God had laid before him…with his mind.
“Yet still it’s uncanny how often we let ourselves out of the Garden by worrying about something that, if it did happen, would quicken us into a response much more practical than worry. All the real challenges of my, or any, life — the forest fire that did indeed destroy my home and everything in it; the car crash that suddenly robbed dozens of us of a cherished friend; my 13-year-old daughter’s diagnosis of cancer in its third stage — came out of the blue; they’re just what I had never thought to worry about (even as I was anguishing over whether they’d serve spinach when my friend visited the retreat house). And every time some kind of calamity has come into my life, I and everyone around me have responded with activity, unexpected strength, even an all but unnatural calm.
It’s only when we’re living in the future, the realm of “what if,” that we brilliantly incapacitate ourselves.”
Of course when you worry like that it’s simply miraculous to find others around you responding with unexpected strength to the real disasters…but why worry? As Iyer continues, “Nowadays my one, obviously flimsy, response to all this is to try to bypass the mind if I can’t control it and at least not take my anxiety so seriously.”
I was heartened: thinkers abound! I’m not the only one who struggles with control! (I knew this, but I guess I had to see it in the NYT to be truly comforted…) Iyer even mentions that he does his best writing when he’s not even thinking about writing–how’s that for a dissertating strategy? Confounding but true, I think. And he concludes the essay by recognizing that we’re fallen creatures, grasping for something larger than ourselves:
“We worry only about exactly those things we can never do anything about. And then that very fact becomes something else we worry about. The cycle goes on and on until we let the mind give over to something larger — wiser — than itself.”
Are you a thinker? Does your mind undo the paradise and the blessings God faithfully throws your way? So how do you let your “mind giver over to something larger — wiser –than itself?”